By ROB LONG
Los Angeles
To those of us who live and work in Hollywood, movies are always the perfect gift. So we're puzzled to read about the controversy that erupted when President Barack Obama gave British Prime Minister Gordon Brown a collection of classic movie DVDs.
It seemed like a chintzy gift to some sniffing British journalists. Impersonal, slapdash, borderline insulting -- the sign, some suggested, of a president in over his head.
But, look, we've all been there. We've all been faced with finding a last-minute gift. We've all sprinted through the aisles of Walgreens, scanning the shelves for something -- anything -- that might possibly, if wrapped stylishly, qualify as a present. President Obama has the added burden of being almost completely broke, so it's only natural that his eye drifts to the discount bin at the video store.
Twenty-five classic movies? Some that he included, like "The Wizard of Oz» and «City Lights,» are so old and so well-known that they're practically free. Perfect! Wrap them up in last year's Hanukkah paper -- he's British; he won't notice -- and presto: diplomatic crisis averted.
Maybe Russian President Dmitry Medvedev would enjoy "Godfather II"
Of course Mr. Brown has seen all of those movies before. But that's not the point. As those of us in the Writers Guild of America who count on residual payments to keep us in Whole Foods might say: Watch it again. And again -- to catch all of the nuances.
And there are nuances aplenty to be found in the titles that the president offered to the prime minister. For Britain, with its long tradition of cross-dressing and racism, the copies of «Some Like it Hot» and «To Kill a Mockingbird» really do form a quirky double-feature.
So there might be some strategy to this last-minute gift. It's awfully early to begin drawing conclusions about our young and unpredictable president, but one way to better understand his foreign-policy philosophy is to watch closely which DVDs he gives to whom.
A copy of «Gentleman's Agreement,» the 1947 Gregory Peck film that exposes the subtle but pervasive anti-Semitism then prevalent in American society, might be a nice house present for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. President Obama has yet to formulate a clear policy toward Iran, so the movie could make an important point in a fairly nonconfrontational way. If Mr. Obama sends him a box set of the HBO series «Oz,» on the other hand -- a show set in a terrifying men's prison, with explicit scenes of what are euphemistically called «full cavity searches» -- then it'll be clear to the Iranians what «nuclear inspections» might entail.
Russia represents a subtler, but in many ways more dangerous, policy question. The complicated relationship of power broker Vladimir Putin, now the putative prime minister, and his hand-selected president, Dmitry Medvedev, is probably best summed up by "Brokeback Mountain." Mr. Obama could hand both men a copy and then dash back to the plane before they figure out the joke.
The correct thing, according to diplomatic protocol, is to give each of them a specific gift. For Mr. Medvedev, perhaps, a copy of "Godfather II," with a Post-It note directing him to pay special attention to the scene where the calculating Michael Corleone orders a hit on his silly, ineffectual brother. For Mr. Putin, well, who knows? What do you give a guy like that? "A Clockwork Orange"? "The Silence of the Lambs"?
«Some Like It Hot» got a cool reception from British Prime Minister Gordon Brown.
The French are easy: Give them a box set of the classics of French cinema. They won't get it, but the British will.
You never really grasp just how many countries there are in this world, President Obama will soon discover, until you try to buy DVDs for all of them. The good news here is that even though most countries are reflexively anti-American, most Hollywood movies are, too. So it's easy to come up with a thoughtful title for your Hugo Chavezes and your Fidel Castros -- just grab an American film that touches on the business or financial world. It doesn't matter which one: "Wall Street," "Erin Brockovich," "Silkwood." It's a safe bet that any movie you pick will portray American businessmen thoughtlessly pillaging everything in sight.
As American policy makers turn their gaze east, the most pointed DVD gift for China, our most powerful and challenging trading partner, would be a huge shipping container full of movies currently on screen in the U.S. -- all pirated, direct from China, and bought off the street in Los Angeles. If Hu Jintao complains that black-market DVDs are notorious for their bad picture and sound quality, President Obama can nod in agreement and then add, "So what are you gonna do about it, Hu?"
More cautious policy makers might remind the president that it's going to be up to the nice Chinese to fund his extraordinary spending spree, so maybe a more neighborly gift is in order. One thing the Chinese are always up for is a little Japan-bashing. If the president offers up a collection that includes "Tora, Tora, Tora," "Midway" and "Breakfast at Tiffany»s" (for the spectacularly bigoted portray of Mr. Yunioshi by Mickey Rooney, in buckteeth and Coke-bottle glasses), then we»ll know that it»s pretty safe to get back into Treasurys.
India, too, is a fascinating and potentially powerful American ally. The trouble here is that not only do they have a vibrant and profitable movie industry of their own, but they are also supplying American movie consumers with low-cost, outsourced movie hits like "Slumdog Millionaire," this year»s recipient of the Academy Award for Best Picture. Perhaps, then, at his next meeting with Dr. Manmohan Singh, Mr. Obama should forgo the coals-to-Newcastle gift of movie DVDs and present Dr. Singh with something from another popular category, like self-help. Maybe something from the expanding catalog of Deepak Chopra? Or one of those new yoga DVDs?
Whoops. Same trouble. I guess when it comes to India, President Obama should just go with something from Duty Free.
Turnabout, it»s important to admit, is fair play. So how should Prime Minister Brown have responded to President Obama»s box of classics? I suggest that Mr. Brown give Mr. Obama a copy of "Notting Hill": a bittersweet comedy about the up-and-down romance between a plodding, nervous Englishman and an egomaniacal, out-of-touch American with grandiose self-regard. President Obama has probably seen that movie. But maybe he should watch it again.