"Did you expect us to wipe our bleeding nose and bow our head down?" "What did you expect us to do, wield a pen knife there?" "Did you expect us to fight with slingshots?" If the West thought that such would be the Russian response to Georgia, it was sorely mistaken, as Prime Minister Vladimir Putin explained to the Valdai Discussion Club yesterday. He reassured leading foreign experts on Russia that Moscow had no imperialist ambitions and was willing to stay in contact with the West, but that, at the same time, contacts demanded reciprocity.
Valdai Club members had a surprising talk with Abkhazian President Sergei Bagapsh and South Ossetian President Eduard Kokoity before meeting with Mr Putin.
With journalists looking on, President Bagapsh told experts that Abkhazia and Russia would soon sign a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance. He later added, to a restricted audience, that an agreement would be signed under which Abkhazia would host Russian military bases on land and at sea.
President Kokoity said that his republic should join Russia to unite the Ossetian people and restore historical justice.
"So you want to join Russia? Have I got it right?" a baffled Valdai Club member interpolated.
"Yes, we will be incorporated into Russia. We don't want an independent Ossetia!" Kokoity replied.
After spending a long time trying to convince the Valdai Club that South Ossetia vitally needed to join Russia, he made an astonishing statement to the Interfax news agency: he had been misunderstood, and South Ossetia would not give up the independence for which it had paid so dearly.
While Mr Kokoity was taking stock of what his republic really wanted, Valdai Club members attended an exquisite dinner with Mr Putin at the Rus recreation centre. They were treated to duck breast with orange sauce, crab salad, borscht with meat pie, trout, marbled beef filets and cranberry cake with ice-cream.
"Be quick with your meal! It will be hard to eat later, when we start talking," Mr Putin warned as he entered the banquet hall.
"Why did Russian troops behave as they did?" The Guardian's Jonathan Steele asked immediately, even before touching his food.
"This is amazing, just astounding. It shouldn't wash, but it does somehow!" Mr Putin hotly replied.
He did not think a single person seated at the fifty-person table knew how the Russian-Georgian conflict had really proceeded.
"Georgia acted out of aggression instead of settling the interethnic conflict. We had to hit back. Did you expect us to wipe our bleeding nose and bow our head down? Did you want us to completely upset the North Caucasian situation? We protected South Ossetia, and you did not like it. If we had not protected it, we would have been dealt another blow in the North Caucasus. The insolence!" the Prime Minister exclaimed.
The diners put down their forks at that, as Mr Putin continued, "What did you expect us to do, wield a pen knife there? It was said that the use of force was asymmetrical. But when they use tanks and heavy artillery against us, did you expect us to fight with slingshots?" According to him, those who instigated the provocation "should have known we'd punch them in the nose!"
"They enjoyed shooting and bombing!" the indignant Mr Putin went on. "They failed in Afghanistan and Iraq. Why did they think they would be successful here? Their efforts were a flop, and they'll have many more flops!"
A pregnant silence fell, which Professor Richard Sakwa of the University of Kent finally broke to ask about Russian relations with the West.
"I'd like to respond by asking why the West has not established proper relations with Russia?" Mr Putin replied, and added that Russia had no grounds for another Cold War or for any animosity in general. It had no imperialist ambitions, either, and would have none in the future.
As Valdai experts left the banquet hall three hours later to face journalists, they appeared tired but contented.
"What a man! What a mind! What energy!" French author Serge Schmemann said to Izvestia about Mr Putin.